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Difference or Disorder?

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When I moved to Paris in 2009, my goal was to speak French as if it were my native

language. I remember listening attentively to the ways people around me pronounced the

sounds that my brain was not used to hearing and trying to repeat these sounds as naturally

as possible. For the first few years, upon hearing me speak French for the first time, people

consistently asked me where I was from. Although this gave me an opportunity to speak about

my country and my culture, it always reminded me that I was not fully integrated and, from

my point of view, not fully accepted. I wanted people to know me as “Cole,” not “Cole the

American,” and this meant that I must speak French as naturally as I speak English. I had to

stop thinking in English, stop reading in English, stop listening to music in English and, above

all, avoid speaking English (other than over the phone with my friends and family in the United

States). I also had to avoid all American communities and make as many contacts in France as

possible. To some people, it was as if I had rejected my own culture, but for me, it was the

opportunity of a lifetime to develop a double culture.

Being a true part of France was, and still is, a necessity for me. Over the past few

years, I have had many opportunities to experience France as if I were a native. I have worked

as an English teacher in three French elementary schools and as an educational assistant in

two French high schools. I earned a master’s degree from a French business school and was

hired to work for a French company near the beautiful Champs‐Élysées Avenue in Paris. It

isn’t a question of intelligence or capability, but one of passion and desire to become a part

of a culture that I have adopted as my own. Today, when I meet people for the first time, they

ask me what I do for a living, what I do in my free time, etc. And only when they ask me where

I am from, do they discover my American origins. I am very proud to be American and to share
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